Escape to Fort Cochin

Laura, Eva and I traveled up the industrial corridor of Kerala, from the lazy backwaters of Allepy to the bustling ancient trading city of Fort Cochin. We checked into the Princess Inn in the heart of the tourist district, where we were warmly greeted by the hospitable manager Subash. Tall, lanky, a straight shooter who laid down the rules and stuck to them. We took an immediate liking to him.

Subash had a love of learning and argument style that I appreciated. An unsuccessful haggle over room rates led to a passionate debate about "fairness." Laura insisted that prices should be the same for all (regardless of race, creed, yadda yadda), while Subash argued instead for a sliding scale based on who can afford to pay more. I've heard Laura make sensible arguments for both sides of this debate in the past but as Subash was sticking to his guns Laura stuck to hers just as firmly.

It was deeply satisfying to watch.

Coming as I do from a monotheist culture where so much emphasis is places on The Single Truth and not enough on the Polyphony of Truths, I can appreciate an argument style based on pragmatism. It's not that either Laura or Subash were right or wrong, it's that through their debate they come to agree on a common ground from which all parties can agree and work forward. Something we are in dire need of here in the US.

Later that evening we returned to Princess to find Subash drawing outside the hotel. He has a great artistic eye and in his spare time sits in front of the hotel and sketches passers-by or people relaxing at the outdoor restaurant across the street. We got into a friendly chat that turned serious -- Subash loves a good debate.

"I hear travelers insult India all the time. Why is this? They complain about cow dung on the roads, about poverty, about the toilets. They complain and I hear them. It's insulting to me. This is just the way life is here. Why do they travel to India if they're just going to insult Indians?"

"That's just how Westerners get along," Eva began.

Laura agreed. "Traveling is really stressful. Usually you don't know anybody, so this is how Westerners relax and become friends."

"But do they have to insult us in front of our faces?" Subash argued back. "How would you like it if we did the same to you?"

"You did that with us," I reminded him.

"I did?" he turned to me with surprise.

"Remember when those Americans checked in earlier? They were very rude to you and when they went upstairs you turned to us and said, 'Americans. They're all like that.' It was a way of showing friendship between us. We're American, but we thought it was funny too."

"It's all about context," Laura added. "It's only because we've been getting to know each other that you were able to joke with us like that. Travelers are the same way. In general we enjoy traveling here, but it's important to joke with each other to ease the stress of travel."

Subash considered this.

"OK," he agreed. "So why do you travel at all? Why would you want to go so far from your family and friends?"

"Cultural exchange," Eva answered. "We want to meet other people and see what life is like beyond what we already know. For example back in Holland I never understood why women would want to hide themselves behind their dress. So I worked in a rural school for 2 months where women would give me dirty looks when I wore anything revealing. It was insulting not to the men but to themselves. It is a sign of self-respect to dress modestly. I understand that now, but wouldn't have if I hadn't come here."

"But you can learn about all that on TV," Subash countered. "Why not just stay home and learn about other cultures from there?"

I briefly wondered how to introduce the subject of Macluhan media analysis or the politics of representation, but decided not to swim into deep waters. Instead I listened closer to what Subash was saying and what lay at the heart of his concern.

"You don't understand the power that you have," he insisted. "You are eagles in the sky while I am a frog on the ground."

True enough, but conversely he met and associated with so many eagles that he had accumulated a wealth of knowledge about Westerners and our curious habits. All the more curious because he caught us out of context, strangers in a strange land. Travelers come to Fort Cochin to relax, to let loose, not to be immersed in culture. Subash has not seen travelers at their best.

"Most Westerners don't come here to experience Indian culture," he said. "Instead they go shopping and hang out by themselves. So why come here at all?" he asked. "If you're just going to go get drunk at the bar, why do that in India?"

This called for a more nuanced argument. The girls were tired and left for bed while I puzzled this one out with our friend.

"All this drinking and late-night partying. Isn't it just escapism?" he asked me.

I considered this. "Yes," I agreed, "I think that's exactly the point. In India people live in a very rigid social system. But they also have a lot of freedom. The children run around wild, like the animals. I wish I had a childhood like that. Instead Western children are put in schools by the age of four where they're disciplined to sit up straight, eat with a knife and fork, clean up their messes. We're so disciplined it drives us crazy, so we need a space to go wild. I think it is exactly escapism. I don't think it's healthy, but it is what it is. India and America. We both have our different freedoms."


"But why India?" he returned to his theme.

I thought about this one for a minute as well before speaking. "Remember our earlier conversation about relationships? You told me you didn't want someone who would just say 'yes' to you all the time. Instead you want to marry someone who will be different than you, someone who will challenge you. Well, that's the same reason why we travel. It's a challenge and it forces you to confront yourself. Even if you're just going to bars and shopping you're still in an environment that's saying 'no' to you much more than it's saying 'yes.'"

Our conversation drifted to other things until it was time for bed. We stayed up way too late -- he had to work the next day and I was due up at 6:30 to go on the elephant/waterfall safari (see "Happy Pongol"). When we finally said goodnight Subash added, "I like the relationship comparison, that makes a lot of sense."

It seems all the listening paid off.

One thing unsettling for me, though. Tourism is something we impose upon India, forcing them to open up for us. And then get pissed (not in the drunk sense) when local culture doesn't accept our particularly peculiar ways of being. India, meanwhile, is incredibly tolerant of us Westerners running around flaunting our sensibilities under their frequently disapproving noses. It bothers me that they're tolerant because they have to be. In any case I deeply appreciate it.